You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
What a dumb baby whore.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
