i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
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