I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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