Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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