Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
