Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
