i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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