I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
