guys are not supposed to queef...right?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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