one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
