I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
