So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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