And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
