I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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