I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
