he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
