K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
