i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
