it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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