I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
