After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
