would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Boobs speak an international language.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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