I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
