Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
