Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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