You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
