I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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