I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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