She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
