this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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