I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
