I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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