I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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