she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
