All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
