I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
