What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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