well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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