Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
