dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
