where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
