it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
