im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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