Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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