Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
