Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
do herpes really smell.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize