suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
