If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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