it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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