Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Randomize
