i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
