The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
