Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she told me i tasted like america
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
