So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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