make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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