My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
