I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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