spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
