sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
