Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
