i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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