Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
