Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
