how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
