I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
