Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
