I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
